You know when someone wants to do something even believing it might go wrong, and then sees someone who does it insanely better? Like they're made to do that, have the "gift" and it doesn't matter if you give the "extra-200%" you'll never be as half better than him. And that's okay because you help yourself with happy thoughts, trying to ignore that exuding excellence. But then all becomes hazzy and you start to feel the fear.

That's the point where I am now.

No matter how good person I am, or do good deeds, or be nice to everyone by courtesy, it doesn't pay off. Nobody cares, and nobody will. And it was my mistake to think that this new chapter in my life, university grounds, will be different but they're all the same. Looking for what I can't give, curiously...just my luck!

But then just when you're loosing control you talk to your friends, ask their opinions. Ending up more confused, filled with doubts about how far you can reach or how good you can do something. Still haven't found someone to understand me, how difficult could it be? I'm feeling drown in a pool of fakeness, in an inner "shyness" (if such thing is possible), because I can't talk about what I like, everyone just doesn't care. And so I have to play "dumb" and listen to trivial thoughts about the mall or the weather only to socialize and try to connect with my friends. But they can't seem to see there's more of me, that I'm forced to hide.

A thing called talent... I don't have it.
A thing called luck... I got it lost.

That's my destiny...that's all folks!